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I Can’t Believe She Asked That

I Can’t Believe She Asked That…

“The lady asked my daughter who her mommy was.  The little girl pointed to the only mom she had ever known.  The lady said “why honey I mean your REAL mommy”

My daughter looked confused.  I just looked mad.  How dare that lady say that to my child.  She does not see anything by my love.  She doesn’t care that we don’t look alike”.

I was at a conference/training last week where there were about 150 foster/adoptive parents.   I learned as much from them as I did from the trainers, themselves foster/adoptive parents. This training was held by the North America Council On Adoptable Children and the focus was developing support groups for foster and adopted children.  These were the high points of the training.  I share them with you because I believe you, the reader, have been in the same situations in your travels as foster and adoptive parents.

Strangers mean well, they just want to know more about your family.  The fact that they ask questions in an offensive manner is only because they do not know how to ask it appropriately.

It was suggested that a card (like a business card) that redirects the asker to respect the privacy of your children and family be readily available to give them.

Support groups are very helpful to families who are dealing with problem behaviors and challenging family concerns.  Support groups can meet both social and
educational needs of the group members.

Support groups can be held in churches, mental health centers, schools, anywhere there is space.  Fundraising can be done by asking members to pitch in, requesting help
of community members, or developing a non-profit organization and applying for grants.

At MidAmerica Family Treatment Center support is of major concern as the research has shown that families who are supported are more likely to succeed in raising
children with challenging behaviors and trauma due to loss of the primary family system.

Support groups are forming now and we want you to be a part of one of our groups.

Contact Lynn Barnett, LMSW,
913-626-1018 or e-mail maftc.kc@gmail.com for information on support groups being formed now. You don’t have to go through this alone.  There is a community out there who “get it”.

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